So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize