My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
