Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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