But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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