getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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