You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
