i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
