I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
