i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
