I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
