So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
