Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
