i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
