Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
