are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
the raccoons are back...
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