idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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