it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
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I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
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Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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