I CAN MOONWALK!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
