Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
