i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
