I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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