Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
