he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
