Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
