I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
where am i from again
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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