It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
