Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
