I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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