You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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