I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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