just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
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