These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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