i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
