fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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