Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
