I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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