have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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