Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
