My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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