That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
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Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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