I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
