I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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