dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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