Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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