if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
