Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
