They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
