He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
