If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
