I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
