you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
