Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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