God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
