im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize