The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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