so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
