I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
