he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
