I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
