My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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