Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
