What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
