Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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