Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
