And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
